Don't want to be a wayward wife ...

[25yearsmlc]

blu

your h had an affair and others knew of it. That is just crushing to the ego. I don't begrudge you wanting to be comforted by the attention of another man. To imagine a relationship without the gloomy cloud of the affair looming over you.

It's interesting that you find it enlightening into your h's affair.

It may help you "get it". Of course I'm referring to the attention you're getting, not an actual affair.

Of note is that the OM knows you are unhappily married, correct? How so?

Finally, I've learned something recently. It may resonate with you. I met a man I'm interested in. We seem to connect well and I'm attracted to him. Which is not common for me the past year. Internally I got ahead of myself emotionally and had to slow myself down.

I projected a lot onto this man. In my head I had Beliefs that may not be true but what I wish for in a man.

And I could so imagine loving him, that it felt like I already did! As if thinking about being in love, was the same thing as being in love. This was a new experience for me. I am still processing this. It's impossible to be real, but it felt that way.

I think I'll be dating him too. But I hope I'm self aware enough to know that what I hope for him to be, his potential as a partner, is not the same as who he really is. Only time and honest reflection will reveal our compatibility.

If you go down the road (in your head, I mean!) think it out for real.

So your family breaks up, and your kids then find out you had an affair (& yeah, daddy did too, but his was a long time ago). Lots of pressure to put on a new r with OM.

He better be worth it, which you cannot know in advance.

OR you have OM on the side and you stay married. Some moral gymnastics are in order.


Don't get ahead of yourself. This OM is not the solution to your loneliness.

I have the feeling you can enjoy the attention without getting ahead of yourself. I could be wrong. But I get it.


Back to you and the m...