How a treehouse can cost you your marriage

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=Clyde]So the W has the kids for thanksgiving, (we are doing Halloween and xmas as a family) I asked her what are the plans for t-giving, are we going to do it as a family?

Pursuit. Also why is it all up to HER? You have choice, too.


She said no and referred to last year's t-giving where we got into an argument, said no way is she going to do that again. I said c'mon, that argument could of happened any day,

why? Why argue with her about an argument? This is another dimension of pursuit, wherein you want to convince your partner that the marriage is actually better than they realize

which i have never seen work, ever.


T-giving had nothing to do with it. She then said she is not going to keep the kids away from me on the holiday so I can take them that day and she is going to volunteer in a homeless shelter for the day...WTF? I can't figure this one out.


you get the kids. Nothing to figure out. (Seriously). And no, I don't believe she's volunteering, unless there is an ulterior motive.

We discussed the argument last t-giving...(the argument happened when I was trying to talk to her about a sitch in my family that was bothering me... I was opening up to her, her response was to tell me my logic was wrong, I'm a negative person, so on, I went into quiet mode and the day ended on that note.)

you are both arguing about an argument. Counter productive.


Anyhow in discussing it I acknowledge that I should of not gone into quiet mode, instead should of waited for another time to tell her how her response made me feel.


Her reply is that is how she has aways been, not a sympathetic person, I called BS on

when someone tells you they are not sympathetic, to YOU, don't argue. Don't try to get them to change in how they treat you.

Believe them.



Before leaving I again mentioned t-giving, I told her the offer still stands... she said we will see. I'm not sure if she is playing hard to get on this one,

I don't want to repeat myself too much or it'll sound harsh to you. But BACK THE HE11 OFF.

Read the Div Busting chapter on NOT pursuing, again. Or review Sandi's guidelines "37" and take them in.

Let them sink in.