After reading your post it reminded me of the loong contracts done by lawyers where to say yes they need 4 paragraphs. In other words I got lost.
It is great that Sandi2 is here with her infinite knowledge and help. The fact she made heads and tails is a great reflection of that.
What strikes me as confusing is that you seem to inititate sex but I see no comment or mention about other signs of affection. Is sex the only affectionate way you and your husband bond or communicate? Do you hold hands, kiss, send sexy or romantic texts, etc?
In some posts your relationship seems like a movie, from soppy "Ghost" to Terminator. Is there a detonator that creates these moods or is it spontaneous explosion.
My final comment is in relation to your last words in your last post. You still don't get it. Your marriage IS OVER. At least the one you knew. The 2 people who met, fell in love and married are gone. What is left is a black hole sucking everything in including your hopes, dreams, happiness and emotions. Any effort spent on reversing the situation is a wasted one.
Your husband's emotional bullying, to me shows he's a pu$$y. A real man faced with adversities confronts them and deals with them. The complete range of absurdities I read he does is sickening. Not only the context but also to whom.
It is always easy to harm those who love us. You made a mistake agreed but there is only so many times you can play the affair card. Everything about his actions points to his issues, his insecurities, his demons.
Before you have a shot of starting a new relationship with this man he needs to address those which from what I see he is not doing as he constantly blames you for everything. It is not until he shuts down his anger and focuses on what he really wants that you will have any chance of anything (IMHO). BTW it is not your job to help him move on but yours to make you move on or forward.
The fact he wants to talk to you and ends up in arguments or insults etc is that he still has a lot of anger and issues built up inside and until he spews everything out it will go on and on.
The question is if you want to take any more of it. I wouldn't.
I remember from my old DB days that how we act towards someone affects their interactions with us. You need to find the route to shut his actions towards you down. Put out the fire. Only then can something grow.
To your final comment, will "we" be happy, my question is will YOU be happy. In all honesty no. Forget the WE.
