WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[hoosjim]

Once the heart has radical change, it helps the actions produced.

Is my WW's heart changing? Has it changed? She continues to seem to do "all the right things". Yesterday saw one of my "goals" I set with my DB coach happen, and it looks to be a sign that maybe things have turned...

My goal was that W, not I would initiate or take the initiative on one of our counseling projects. This was a longer term goal since she has been willing but, except for maybe the past week or two, had not looked all that "eager" to do that work. But... yesterday she did. As I wrote in my previous post, she had gone out and bought posterboard and colored pencils for the project, but that seemed kind of, idunno, preliminary, and she had had little bursts of interest pop up previously. Yesterday, however, she came to me and said "Let's sit down and do this". So we sat down on the family room floor, put on some music, and spent the next probably three hours working on our projects together. As posted above, it was a sort of self-exploration exercise intended to help with our respective IC (and, by extension with our MC). It was actually fun, though at times emotional, but she was really into it and kept asking me about mine and wanting to tell me about hers. We both found out a few things about each other that, believe it or not, we didn't know.

I don't want to get my hopes up too much here... it was only a little over two weeks ago that she had a "Setback" on her affair recovery... but, this was something different than we have done before in this process and a willingness/eagerness to "do work" on this that she had not shown to this degree previously.

And, boy, if this IS the start of piecing? It is hard. My emotions still all over the place. Read something in another thread (Holding's, maybe) where the poster who was in piecing said sometimes you almost just wonder if it wouldn't be easier just to drop the whole thing and move on. Almost. And I can definitely sympathize.