Those people have not screwed up and been bad husbands. I DO know if you compare our M to a new one, grass IS greener unless the guy is abusive or an alcoholic. Now I don't want to dwell on this and I can offer a much better one going on now, but she will always remember how horrible I was. I'm at least 90% at fault for the demise of our M.
Bull$hit. Seriously, bull$hit. Every sitch on this site posted by a man is the result of a husband who was inattentive, or worked too hard, or depressed, or oblivious. There are also LBHs who had affairs, and even abusive alcoholics. All of us LBHs are here because we didn't give our wives something they needed. You are not unique in this regard. You are not alone. You are not worse than anyone else.
So pick your damned self respect up off the floor and screw your head back on straight.
As for him being "better" than you, bull$hit to that, too. All I can say is no LBH will ever win the "pick me" dance, even if their competition is a hobo living in a trashcan. In another thread, someone (don't remember who) pointed out that the WAS/WS stacks the deck against the LBS when it comes to APs. The WAS has hardened their heart against the LBS. They blame the LBS for 100% of the problems in the M, not even the 90% you're taking credit for. Nothing the LBS does or says is ever right or good enough. Meanwhile, the AP is absolutely perfect and understands the WAS so well, and makes them feel like no one ever has before. Why is that? Because the AP is carefully spoon fed EVERYTHING the WAS needs to see and hear. "My husband does this and I hate it." "My wife is such a bitch because she did this to me." "I love it when a woman tells me X." "I love it when a man does Y." There is no competing against that.
My XW's AP is like yours. Someone who saw an opportunity, not someone who was cheating on their partner. He moved here from Florida to be with my XW. My daughter thinks he's a nice guy and really likes him. So what? He's still a scumbag, because he put himself into the middle of a marriage and helped end it. Stop putting yourself in the trap of thinking the AP is somehow better than you.
You have an opportunity, here. Whether or not you save your M, you've been given the gift of self-knowledge. Self-pity is not going to make good use of the opportunity.
