Also very glad that the two year mark has been and gone. I know that it's just a date like any other date in the year, but I still feel relief.
I guess the D papers that H filed (which needed my agreement for the process to continue, and which I just ignored) will start their own journey now that the two year mark has passed. In Scots law a spouse can D another without their agreement after they've been separated for two years.
I decided that I would plough my own furrow and D him at a time of my choosing (which would have been some time after the 2 year mark, as I didn't want to speak to him again). And that's the reason why I didn't answer his text asking if I agreed to a D, or sign the papers he sent.
Anyway, one of the cast told me that all they know about him is that he's now living down south (quite a long way away) with OW and their child. That means that the chances of me bumping into him here aren't really very high, which is a big relief.
I know her parents live down south, in the country, on a farm I think. I'm wondering if they're there? it might be nice for her to have help with the baby. Well, it's not for me to concern myself with.
I actually had a dream about her last night, for the first time ever. In my dream I was curious about her and looking her up online, and she caught me doing it. Funny thing was I didn't feel jealous, or envious, I was just curious about her in a very neutral way. Although I did feel like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't be doing.
Well, I don't feel upset about my dream. I feel like I can just carry on with my day.
All in all, I'm feeling very neutral and even about the past God knows how many years (six? seven?) since the slide into this awful nightmare started. Many, many, many good things have happened in the past couple of years, and I feel that a lot of them are down to my positivity. At times it's been with nothing short of brute force that I've made myself feel grateful and see things positively at times (even just the tiniest thing, like a simple 'hello' and a smile to a shopkeeper when I went to buy some milk), but my goodness, it's paid off.
So clearly, that's the road I should continue down...the one of gratitude and positivity.
what a great post.
Thank you!
And in classic fashion, not long after you replied (was it the day after maybe?) STB X MIL and FIL turned up to my work, with their other son, his wife and their 4 children.
Granted, they probably didn't know that I would be there, so it's not like they were **expecting** to see me.
Anyway, I spotted STB X FIL first, well before he (or any of the others) saw me, so I had plenty time to gather my thoughts and compose myself.
When they came through the door I made sure that I was heading in the opposite direction from them. Nonetheless, STB X MIL came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder, and said 'I'm just saying hello'. I said hello back. None of the others looked in my direction or caught my eye, or said anything to me (which suited me just fine, tbh).
It was easy to avoid them the rest of the evening.
At the very end, they were the last to leave. I had the tiniest feeling that they were hanging back because STB X MIL wanted to speak to me again.
Couple of days later, STBXH's uncle tuned up with his son. Harder to avoid him as he also works in the industry, so I was reasonably chatty.
And that was that. My contract there for this job is finished and I can send my last invoice. I'm proud of the work I've done for this.
I am **exhausted**. My whole body is aching, I almost have the shakes and feel sick from the effort I've put in, and I know that I've been clenching my teeth hard at night (even with my mouth guard) because I can feel that my back teeth have been under a lot of pressure when I wake up and take my mouth guard out again.
Some time to myself next to recentre in on myself.
