So the W has the kids for thanksgiving, (we are doing Halloween and xmas as a family) I asked her what are the plans for t-giving, are we going to do it as a family? She said no and referred to last year's t-giving where we got into an argument, said no way is she going to do that again. I said c'mon, that argument could of happened any day, T-giving had nothing to do with it. She then said she is not going to keep the kids away from me on the holiday so I can take them that day and she is going to volunteer in a homeless shelter for the day...WTF? I can't figure this one out.
We discussed the argument last t-giving...(the argument happened when I was trying to talk to her about a sitch in my family that was bothering me... I was opening up to her, her response was to tell me my logic was wrong, I'm a negative person, so on, I went into quiet mode and the day ended on that note.) Anyhow in discussing it I acknowledge that I should of not gone into quiet mode, instead should of waited for another time to tell her how her response made me feel. Her reply is that is how she has aways been, not a sympathetic person, I called BS on this excuse and made some references to her ability to be sympathetic/understanding, and that up to the last year I could go to her for anything and count on her listening and most times giving me good advice. She said yeah, I could of been more understanding that day, its something I am working on.
Before leaving I again mentioned t-giving, I told her the offer still stands... she said we will see. I'm not sure if she is playing hard to get on this one, a few weeks ago when I brought up halloween she acted as if she had not even thought about us doing it as a family, but that it sounded like a good idea, later that night I told my D about h-ween as a family, she told me that mom has been saying that all along, even told her friends she would be w/ me on that night.
Why are you putting so much pressure on her? What happened to 'not pursuing'?
Also, you seem very intent on doing things 'as a family'. What are your goals with this? Why are you pushing so strongly to make these special events happen together?
