A fresh start? (probably not!)

[CW2017]

Hi all
have really been enjoying the threads over the weekend. The way all the guys and gals have been supporting everyone has been a revelation. For those who sometimes can not see an end in sight if I trace my timeline from this year I see how the healing actually kicks in (not that I am out of the woods by a long shot yet and have no idea what my endgame will be).

January BD, confrontation 1 (largely evasive)
January/February tailspin, no sleep, prescribed antidepressants (start checking phone records as I know the login as we set it up together)
March am able to access cell messages (just to gauge extent of EA, turning out to have overtones of PA without going "full")
April/May "surviving", friends are amazed how stoic I am being, although I am only still around because of my D, although clearly the domestic setup is unusual with the mother-in-law also being here, sleep now improving
June confrontation 2, threaten D, W sort of "collapses", I demand in an ideal world she quits job, but we know reality of UK jobs situaton (but that reluctance to leave job of course speaks volumes), W spends 2 weeks expressing "remorse". Lawyer advises checking cell messages once more, these show how scared she was
July/August begin to feel chilled, have 20th anniversary party, fantastic holiday with family (alhough gut tells me something still ain't right, secure folder activated in phone)
September really chilled so much so I decide to let them get on with it, if still on, until denoument
October yep, it's still on (based on quick check of instant messaging, no cell messsages -not going there- to whatever extent, hell I ain't checking no more), W working later and later. But I feel fine (thank you mindfulness, etc.)

so there we are, the long game is the family survives this or the final curtain falls due to a monumental slipup on my W's part but I will be fine, I'm sure

so that's 10 months of my life....