Rebuilding my life #3

[lcause]

D was with me for the weekend and we were visiting my parents. Took her back and XW had all makeup and hair done, so I don't really have to question what she's been up to (OM of course). Now I am just waiting for the announcement that D is going to meet OM... Gave a kiss for S and left. Also failed hard and sent XW a text that was supposed to go to a friend, and out of context that sounded like I was in a hurry to somewhere, lol. I hate this new phone as I keep sending WhatsApp messages to wrong places all the time.

My mom told me that XW had said something very "rude" and odd for her back when she was pregnant the first time. "I'm pregnant and he (me) can leave anytime if he wants to". Mom never told me this before and said it came out of blue for her too. It's odd that I always thought I was seemingly happy with XW but mom said she thought I felt a bit unhappy when we were visiting. Not sure if this is to make me feel better...

Yeah take it carefully LC. I made out with a co-worker 6 months ago and unfortunately I quickly developed a crush. I didn't pursue it due to the fact that I'm probably not ready yet and well... her age, but it certainly hasn't made life any easier. To be honest, I'm sure I have entered the dangerous fields of limerence.. Bummer ... So be careful, but if you can manage to just be friends with her for now, then by all means, go for it!

That sukcs if you get into the limerence. I know it's a danger, but I think this could actually be very good for me too. Ego boost and noticing that "I can do it" are nice. Just got to keep myself really unattached and I know I'm not boyfriend material currently anyways, not to mention that she probably isn't what I'm after (assumption). I can hurt myself as much as I want to, but I wouldn't like to hurt anyone else. However she seems very content in her life based on what the coworker told, and apparently she's not "actively" seeking for a man. That, tbh, sounds quite attractive She's a divorcee, but it's been years.

This I don't understand. I thought ALL women wanted exactly that... That their guy shows his love for her to the whole world. I'm sure your next partner will appreciate that sort of behavoiur so don't hold yourself back.

Tell me about it! Maybe I was too embarrassing or not good enough to show publicly? Hah! Who knows, right? Thanks, of course I'm not holding myself back.

Don't stop posting. I can't really speak on the behalf of others but I certainly like to read about people moving forward. Whether they save their M or not (lets be honest here, hardly anyone does...) we can all learn from each other on how to deal with the aftermath of BD.

Yeah, well I have at least one active reader then! It feels good to open up, somehow I feel like these things are getting more ingrained into my brain when I open them up this way.

To be honest, I'm quite happy now and it feels like the world isn't going to end - not sure if these feelings spark from the girl wanting to go to a date, haha. Baby steps towards the future that I want.