"Coach spent more time focused on me than the R. She said I need to take care of myself. I am hurting a lot and I need to do what I need to do to heal myself. And yes, it’s okay to be angry. Give yourself permission to be angry. You have been wronged. But stop the moping. Moping isn’t doing me any good."

Yes I think that's good advice from the coach. You may also want to actively planning how living separately is going to work? Is she going to move out, are you? Will you sell your current property and each buy separately? Will you tell the kids together? I think there are some realities that she will need to start facing now. What you don't get to do is go away with 'new BF' for the weekend and then come back to the family home and carry on life as usual...

I don't think trying to 'nice' a WW back into the marriage works and I think alpha male with good boundaries is the way to go. Not in a vengeful way - but in a - wow, this isn't working for me, I'm going to make some changes - kind of way.

Also, from the coach advice of focusing on you - have you read NMMNG and thought about NGS - how this may have impacted on your R and any changes you may want to make going forward? Forgive me if I'm covering ground already covered...

I'm sorry this is happening. I recall a weekend where I knew XH was with OW and it was tough. Equally, these turns of events do tend to tip situations into a new phase, which can also be welcome in hindsight...

Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus