You are receiving great advise, I don't really have anything to add to what has already been said. I just want to send you huge hugs and tell you that you are an amazing and genuinely incredible woman, very few would tolerate what you are and sticking with your sitch .......(my keypad just changed sitch to sitcom haha, almost apt huh) ...
Your h sounds like he must have had a really traumatic childhood and is struggling to make peace with it. Sadly I fear until he understands that he cannot change the past but can live his future he will continue to be stuck in this time. I really hope one day soon he chooses to get some professional help to get him past this stage and to moving forward to reconnecting with present life, you and the family.
As always you sound grounded and detached from his crazy; finding the amusement in his words and actions, you have developed an understanding that whilst he aims his rubbish at you, it's not really personal, he is projecting. I still worry about you though, so please look after your own mental wellbeing, never devaluate your own importance and happiness through all this.
