Its a tough choice and I can only share my experience with my Xh Family
They all lived in another state, so we were not super close I don't think his Mom ever really liked me anyway
But after H left the state and M -OW -she did reach out to us to see if she could still have a R with our kids, her grandkids she was heartbroken over H choices as her XH(XHDAD) did the exact same to her
We spoke several times over the next year or so b4 she passed I was grateful to have that time with her and to explain what my truth was I always wished Xh the best and told her I tried to help him but he was unreachable
I think this also helped her to understand what happened to him because when he left us he also left her and his sisters-sometimes with no number or way to =reach him
So I am grateful I spoke to her, shared my truth, wished him the best and never badmouthed his choices Hi Mom hated the OW, her new DIL- and at one point told him she could not ever come to visit ,,they banned her from the family--is What I heard, she was definitely a piece of work as many OW and OM are-
So I say follow your gut, speak to your IC and if you contact them the truth is always a good place to go--never badmouthing, but wishing well to H regardless of the pain he is causing you
Karma is not ours to determine but when we do the right thing, we get right results
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow