HaWho,

Yep, I've seen this quite often. He's reliving his childhood through your children. His childhood must have left a huge "mark" on his life. I also think that when he was young he heard the words "thin" and "malnutritioned" a lot from others. Again, a visit back to the land of the lost for him.

It's a shame that he can't seem to get through this stage...but you are being patient and calling him out in a nice way on his stuff. Please keep in mind that he is looking "at" you his mother's replacement and living that life over and over again. He's stuck in the loop, so to speak.

I think he's got a problem w/confrontation. Maybe his parents ripped him a lot when he questioned them and that's why he feels safer texting you. When he avoids you and leaves a room, it could very well be that he's afraid you are going to challenge him and he doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of others. It's not that he's made...but he's afraid of being "shamed" for what he's said or done.

I'm not making excuses for him but evidently he's had a lot of "shaming" in his life from others, i.e., authority figures.

BTW, I think Ciluzen has given you something to think about. Maybe it's time to change the tables a bit and role play for a bit. He wants to be heard and not always challenged about his comments. You know the old saying "if something isn't working, try something else".