So lets say I would be engaged at 2.5 years of dating and then married after 3.5 or 4. That seems like a pretty long timeline nowadays. Even now, I struggle with understanding what I am waiting FOR - is it just for time to pass so that nothing bad turns up?
Exactly. It takes time for the rose colored glasses of infatuation to come off and for people to show their true colors. That kinda IS what you're waiting for. I think your timeline above sounds reasonable.
A prenup can be written in such a way that it's fair to both of you. Just don't be an a-hole who lets your wife take care of the kids and home to the detriment of her career and then don't want to pay any support. If you both work and share home chores and have similar incomes then there should be no need for alimony.
