kml - Thanks for posting. I think there is a lot of good thought-provoking stuff in your post.
Originally Posted By: kml
First, let me preface this by saying I think it's too early to think about marriage.
I just want to make sure that you are reading the date-stamps on some of the posts correctly. At this point, we have been together for 2 years. I dont see it as unreasonable to be thinking about marriage at that point. How long is your expectation of dating someone before getting engaged?
Originally Posted By: kml
You jumped in way too fast ( I would argue you shouldn't even introduce your kids to a date until six months in, and moving in with her after only 6 months was risky.
You are right, and looking back, I agree that I jumped in too fast. But, Im not sure what this information does for me NOW. While Im not sure I did things exactly the right way, I do believe that what we have is lasting and has a good foundation for a successful relationship going forward.You are also right that everything was a little risky, but I believe things have so far worked out for the best.
Originally Posted By: kml
And although you seem to be doing well in the relationship, a year and a half is still kinda early to be making that commitment again. It takes at least a couple years to really get to know someone.
For sure. So lets say I would be engaged at 2.5 years of dating and then married after 3.5 or 4. That seems like a pretty long timeline nowadays. Even now, I struggle with understanding what I am waiting FOR - is it just for time to pass so that nothing bad turns up?
Originally Posted By: kml
Also there's the fact that you still have some nostalgia for your ex.
In reading back, Id say that there was some many months ago. As I wrote to dream, the nagging questions and timelines still roll around in my head sometimes, but I have come to accept that I will likely never know exactly what happened...and even if I did, I likely wouldnt be satisfied with the answer.
At this point, I can very safely say that I am not interested in getting back together with my ex. I do not miss the person that she is now or the relationship that we had. The relationship I had was 15 years long, but I really only think back about that final whirlwind of a 2 months to try to parse it all out and make some sense of it.
Originally Posted By: kml
But separate from all that - if your main concern about marrying is financial - get a good prenup! I think anyone in a second marriage should consider a prenup, since your finances are more complicated than a young. Purple starting out with no assets. (But also, if GF is receiving spousal support, realize that may end if she marries you.
The financial aspect is fair. I will have to look into that in more detail when the time comes. And no, she is never married, so no SS to worry about.
