I haven't done any physical activity. I've never been much of a gym goer, but in a past life I was pretty athletic and physical. I guess I should try to recapture some of that interest, especially if it is going to help save me.
I have been adamantly trying to GAL, everyday reaching out to friends, visiting, going to get-togethers. I have also had a few coffee dates with new people (women), as well as going to coffee by myself. Its rough! I don't enjoy being single. I have this huge feeling of urgency, that I am really having a hard time with. I cant stand to be alone, even for a minute. I know this is going to be a huge/important hurdle for me. I keep finding myself contemplating finding someone new, to fill the empty place in my heart. I realize I am not ready for that at all, but those feelings of having someone in my life are strong. I really need to fight that urge, and become comfortable being alone. I am certain of that, but Im having a rough time being by myself. Todays GAL will be reaching out to a buddy, who is going through a similar situation. We will be setting up some DJ and lighting equipment, for a Halloween party we've decided to throw. Tomorrow, D and I are going with some friends to a pumpkin patch, and Sunday will be spent with family at the Aquarium, as well as some shopping. I will get there. I know I will come out of this in one piece. She undoubtedly was my "one". I am fully confident in that. Unfortunately, I was not hers, and I have accepted the reality of that....but I still feel absolutely BROKEN. It just doesn't seem right. It doesn't seem real
