From the other side of the mountain (pt. 9)

[SBJ]

I hope and pray that all is as well as can be with all of my friends here.

Life has a funny way of pushing us and pulling us where we need to be as certain points of time. None of us has asked to be here, but for some reason we are. I know that our MLC'er spouses are lost, but for some reason, I think I was too for quite some time. Even though I have suffered for the last 18 months due to the craziness of this, I have truly begun to find me again.

Everyone here that has given advice and swung a 2x4 here and there have been awesome. I heard something on a podcast this morning where a woman said she was tired of trying to save her marriage and that it was time to save herself. That spoke loudly to me. If we all stand up and save ourselves then either way we will become better for it. As roist has said...first we must survive, then we will thrive!!!

Journaling:
A couple of weird happenings.
1. I walked the EX and the kids out to her car from a football game. She has injured herself and I wanted to make sure they got to the car OK. Once I hugged and kissed the kids goodbye she limped up to me and gave me a huge hug. She has never initiated physical contact...at least not in a long time. I have always had to be the pursuer. It totally caught me off guard.

2. I went to an inlaws Bday party the other night and had a great time. I had my oldest with me...it is cool and odd having a beer with your oldest child. I'm just saying. Anyway, I was standing at the bar talking to a lady, who I thought was the wife of the owner of the restaurant. She had a great taste in drinks and actually shared one with me...separate glasses. Anyway, my brother later tells me that he was trying to introduce us as she was not the wife of the owner...she was widowed a year ago. I know they mean well, but I don't think I'm ready for that. I'm sure we are bother still grieving in our own ways.

3. Received a package in the mail, but after opening it I realized that it was for the EX. She ordered some clothing and it was shipped here. Seems she is still trying to dress the part of a much younger woman. I guess I liked the skin showing when we were married, but now it seems excessive. Just sayin'.