WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[hoosjim]

Thanks, Sandi2.

Well, counselling day is upon us (tomorrow). 4 sesdions, HOPEFULLY a couple of IC for W.

I asked W on Sunday if we were still going to counselling this week or was there too much on her right now, especially with work. Her response was "alot going on with our boys right now to be away" to whichI responded "the one at college is already away from us, we could use the trip to check in on him again. She kind of nodded and said "isnt it out of the way" and I said "only by about 30 mins".And we kind of left it there. Then, on Tuesday, she asks ME if we're still on for Friday, and I said yes, unless something comes up.

So, she seems willing, but not necessarily eager. I think, as you do, that the individual counseling for her should she decide to go ahead with it may prove to be invaluable. Plus, the joint sessions always make us each come out feeling better about things. So I think, on balance, it will be a good thing to go, especially if she agrees to do the individual sessions.

Do you have any last words of advice about what I should say or should not say about her going to the individual counseling or as to what I should or shouldn't be saying right now in the joint sessions. I recall that your recent take has been to play it cool and not put any pressure on her. And to validate and empathize as much as possible without going overboard. Which have been my plan. So if you have any more color to provide I'd certainly be glad to hear it. We will also be in the car together two and a half hours driving down tonight and then two and a half hours coming back either tomorrow evening or Saturday morning.

Would like to convince her to hold over for a day at the nearby Beach just to decompress some after the sessions, but don't know if she will go for that right now.





Oh, and one more thing to add. A lot of her hesitancy seems tied to actually driving all the way down there, close to 3 hours, to see the counselor. Even though the counselor has said that the in-person sessions are definitely more effective and helpful, as well as easier for her and for us once we are there. On a couple of occasions previously, though, my wife has made it a point to say we don't have to go down there, we can just do the telemedicine the sessions. So I think some of her hesitancy has to do with either the travel or with actually being there with the counselor, possibly one-on-one with nowhere to go. She has expressed hesitancy about Individual Counseling in the past, even as she has said she knows she probably needs it. But, There is definitely a stronger willingness in her to do the sessions, at least the ones scheduled for tomorrow, via Skype as opposed to in person. She has so far very actively tried to help find days and times when we can do the telemedicine sessions, meaning my wife.