I slept fitfully last night, but I feel in a better place. I did actually start to read the books last night, lol. I don't feel they will help me much now. I am trying to get it out of my head that nothing is permanent. But I think that thinking got me into the situation I am in. I am constantly wishful thinking that he will come back and he's not. So yes, finally and truly I am taking my focus off him. I signed up to join a divorce care group thru meetup. I am planning fun activities for the kids and I. I will see my lawyer, but postpone any info H wants at this time. Unless he serves me, then I will handle it from there. He still hasn't told me he changed his address. I don't understand why he doesn't tell me these things. But focus off him. I bought a gratitude journal the other day. Every day it asks me to write things I am going to let go. things I am grateful for and list three things I am going to do to make me happy and change. It's been really insightful. And you know what, maybe the universe is getting rid of H for me and making way for something better in my life.
and you are right, H is not going to slap his forehead and say I was right all along. But I mentioned the pride so I could pave the way home clear and tell him that I wouldn't hold anything against him. I guess it backfired. He still needs to tell his mom and his family. That will be like ripping a band aid off all over again. Because my family knows, but his doesn't. Oh well. space is what he wants, that is what he will get. I have gone complete NC except for the kids. I don't ask him for help with the house, my car, money, anything. I'm not going to ask him to move his stuff out. Just leave it. But really, what guy changes his address and talks to a lawyer and ever comes back?
