still struggling

[Jim1234]

I think I have taken a huge step backward in busting this divorce.

I appreciate all the input, but something I didn't think about was it doesn't matter what you or I think of my actions, it's her perception that counts. We all think I'm protecting myself, but she perceives it as an ultimatum.

That was a problem of mine in our marriage. As our marriage deteriorated, I would say something like you have to refinance the house or I will take possession and sell it. I'm thinking "I'm just pointing out the consequences of her actions", but she obviously thinks of it as a threat and ultimatum.

Up until this most recent interaction, things have been fairly pleasant between us. Enough so that she mentioned missing me twice recently. But yesterday, she "found" a draft divorce settlement in her email that her lawyer sent to her in August and forwarded it to me. I get the feeling that she was having second thoughts about the divorce, but this ultimatum has pushed her over the edge.

So, yeah, I'm pretty down today.