Any Advice 3

[25yearsmlc]

I was thinking there may well be a combination of all 3 options, as a path.

Do you see how? Let me take a swing at it in a different order...

1) You see the L and get your financial ducks in a row. Make sure the kids are handled. Figure out the money issues and handle them. Do this FIRST. Everything else is harder if you don't.

2) You also become your best self, looking your best, new cologne, doing the "personal work" you felt was valid, so whatever those things are, you are handling them. Being your self makes everything else more likely. Including your happiness and healing.

3) You GAL

and no matter what else you do, you gotta work on DETACHMENT

(this is first, for your sanity, and then all the rest...) GAL gets you to the detachment piece of this.

It is vital to your well being.

3) about the only thing I might Not do, is bother to explain the boundary.

Because it's kind of a given. (Or is it? I'm asking.) Maybe you need to say it if it's a modification of something else, but to me,

it seems like the guy or woman who tells their spouse not to cheat on them, is weaker by saying it.

But if it's a change or might be news to her, say it once.

Then go on to number 3. She knows what to do if she wants to reconcile

You do not tell her what she needs to do to reconcile, if she has not asked-that would be pursuit with a side dish of "the controlling h" thrown in. NOT helpful of you. Makes you look weak

you assume she's leaving (b/c she's still with OM)

IF the time comes, Let her ask you what you'd need from her. Cross that bridge when you get to it.
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Meanwhile your own happiness and growth are on the rise, which is your overall mission, correct?