Funny how this time last year we had made plans to renew our vows and take a cruise to Mexico. A little over a month later W was having an A. Not really feeling sad about the whole thing. Just interesting how the dynamic of a family can change so quickly.
It's mind-boggling, isn't it? I've mentioned this before but my W started crying one evening, I asked her if everything was OK and she told me (in part) that I can't let anything happen to me, because she would not be able to survive without me. It was one of the biggest outpourings of love and emotion I had ever seen from her. A year later, "I can't do this anymore." "Can't do what? Do you mean the marriage?" "Yes." What had changed in that year? Not a thing. Why the sudden change? THERE IS NO REASON. BD'ing is all about working on ourselves and making ourselves the spouse only a fool would leave, but the bottom line is a lot of times this crap happens for no reason at all. None of us is the perfect spouse, but who out there is? No one, that's who.
A few days ago was my 25 year anniversary (we're D'd, but technically an "anniversary" is "the date on which an event took place in a previous year"). I had completely forgotten until my phone sent me a reminder. I thought about it, and then sent my XW a text just telling her I'll always remember the date fondly, thanking her for being a great mom and wishing her a good day. She sent a nice response back. Then that evening my GF came over and we went out and had a nice dinner and went home and got more than a little nasty. Yup, changed dynamic. Not saying it's better or worse but it's different, that's for sure. Life is an adventure.
