I think Sandi's three options are more like stages. It's really hard to start at 3, so I'd guess most people start at 1. Actually let's not forget stage 0, which is the begging and moping after BD. You'll stay at each stage until you can no longer deal with the pain, uncertainty, and limbo, then you'll move on to the next.

Sandi, I'd love to get your opinion again on my crazy sitch, if you can spare some time.

Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.