Hi Blu, I too am sorry if this is a rough patch. It's a tough one for sure. His past poor choices are of course his to own - and from all that you post it sounds as though he is doing his best to invest in the R now. Your feelings and reactions about his past poor choices are of course yours to own - though his current support and behaviour is important too - ie: helping you heal.

When I thought of the possibility of XH and me reconciling - I liked to think that I could be as forgiving as the next person - perhaps more so? But it isn't easy for sure. I still feel I would be glad if things didn't work out with OW - that's not true forgiveness is it and here I am 3 years on. I still feel I wouldn't want to have to see XH and OW - even though they are very much a unit now - and if he and I had kids together, I would probably have to suck that up and get on with it...

I think I need and would like to do more reading around the whole area of forgiveness. I'd love to get to the point where I can genuinely release what has happened and truly wish them well. I'm not there yet - partly there for sure but not fully...

You may also want to take the pressure off yourself/yourselves and just coast a little too - no big decisions have to be made right now..

Take care and I value your postings and your insight as I'm sure many on the site do.

Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus