Well I'm back here again, with some more developments.
All is good in Woody's world, well not really still living alone. But personally I feel better. Here is what as transpired in the past month since I've been gone.
I've been keeping active, keeping busy and trying to let the cards lie where they may. I have had some R talks with WAW on few occasions, very light mind you but R talks none the less. WAW has told me that she feels regret and yesterday even said she felt somewhat embarrassed byt he ordeal. Is she starting to think clearly? But ont he other hand she is still involved with OM. Not so intense as before but still involved. I have tried to keep my emotions at bay by writting in a journal, helps me get out all the aggression and anger I feel, definitley a helpful tool right now.
funny thing happened today, WAW had to come to drop of the d3 stuff off for her swimmign classes. I had a copy of Divorce Remedy onthe table and she asked if I had read it, I said yes a few times and asked to borrow it. WOW! Is she for real, I don't know how to take that one, did she take it simply to take it or did she take it because she really wants to know what in there and see if it can help? I'm hoping for the latter...
Although it has been hard to deal with her ongoing affair, i feel she doesn't see it as an affair now as she is living in a seperate apartment now and probably just sees it as a relationship as opposed to an affair, but what can I do about that?
I was able to hold her hand just the other day, it felt wonderful and I could tell their was still something there between us, she didn't pull away or anything. Made me feel good. I had to ask her close to a week ago, if there was any chance of us ever rekindling our relationship or if I was simply living a pipe dream, she said I was not dreaming that it could be that way someday....Do I hold much water in that? I'm not sure yet, as she continues to lie to me about OM, but do you blame her, she said she would rather lie than rub it in my face, fair enough I guess.
Anyone out there ready to give me a boost to let me know its looking good. Because I fail to see it, time just drags on day after day, I know I must practice patience, but man is it hard, I constantly dream of her returning home one day, it almost overwhelms me at times. Please anyone, give me that shot in the arm I so need right now, the one that says I'm doing OK and to keep on keeping on.
