I am struggling with my detachment. I know its early on, but I really wish I could set myself free from this. This week I have had more tears, and Ive also had more laughs, than Ive had so far during this journey. Im not sure what that means. Perhaps my mind and my heart are battling for position. I keep having such fond positive memories of the R. That makes this all so hard to accept and understand, but I realize we are individuals, and SO must have a very different perspective. Otherwise, we wouldnt be at this point. Regardless, my thoughts keep me attached and hoping that I will wake up and this will all have been a horrible dream. Wishful thinking, I know
My IC suggests throwing myself back into my work. I agree, but that has proven to be difficult, due to my lack of focus, and to be honest, just giving a **blank** about anything right now.
Ive been dilligently trying to GAL, reaching out to new people and old freinds. My dog has been my best support so far, unconditional love at its best. Hes laying on my lap as I type. I am trying my best to establish a new version of life for my daughter and I. If anything good has come out of this, i think it has strenghthened my R with EX-wife. Shes been very suppprtive and kind. I have to keep reminding myself of the positives and be greatful for what I have. I think that will be my path back to finding happiness. Its just a winding and treacherous path to follow at this point. I could sure use some guidance.....
