Contact from the dark side.

[Irish M]

Well Monday started out to be a calm day. I prepared to go on a 3 day trip out West. Daughters will stay with my parents for 2 nights and home alone for one.

Just as I have all the plans set I get a text.

You know Irish, I was thinking of our situation. If you would of just told the girls to mind their business about us, that it was adult stuff, we wouldn't be in this mess. you failed as a father. When I told you I was leaving, we should of sat the girls down and told them together, that we both agreed. Instead of me telling them I was leaving. About our meet up that never happened. I am open to it now. It will have to be after my therapist appointment on Thursday. And only if he decides I am strong enough I will contact you.

Now i read this more that once. I didn't want to reply because it is all the same blame to me as before. It only showed me she still believes what she preaches.

I could of wrote.

Sorry XW, i wasn't about to back you up for your departure and also you added that you no longer wanted to be a mom. you own that.
to keep teens out of our adult business as you so put it. they were in it before I was. they were 13 ad 15 years old.. not months old. They were very much aware of what was going on.
I'm glad you are seeing your therapist, i truly hope you figure it out.

But I didn't write that. No need to repeat. Lets wait until after Thursday if she is ready for a face to face.

I get on my plane. All is good.

once I land ( no wifi in canada air space), a multiple of texts comes in. Good thing too. My plane was stuck on the runway waiting for anther plane to move so it gave me reading material.

text 1
Irish, I really hope i will be strong enough to face you. We need to work together its the only way.

I hope so too. we will see

text 2
I'm afraid that you won't like what you see. That you will not want to help me connect with the girls.
Also, if the girls are mad and want to kill me i don't want to see you. They need to hear my story. I need to tell them.

the girls know the story. I hope she's truthful with them. Sadly, I don't think she is there yet so can't hope for that.

text 3
If I meet you are you going to tell me I'm a bad mom. That I abandoned my kids.

now it gets interesting.

I reply.

Let's wait until Thursday. Get back to me and let me know. i'm busy until then so after Thursday works well with my schedule.


Irish, I want to see you but if the girls don't want me then I don't see the need to. I am not well and my therapist will tell me if I should.
My therapist will decide. it's up to him.
I won't go against the girls wishes either. I do need you to help with this. I can't do it without you. I'm afraid to talk to you as well. If I tell you why I needed to leave and the life I am living you might close the idea of helping me. I see the therapist Thursday i will discuss this with him.I'll decide what I will do ... if I feel strong enough or not.

so I left it at that. A lot of rambling at the end so i can sense she is not in a good place. Where she takes it we will see.

lets see what happens Thursday.