Sorry to butt in Sandi but is it possible to adopt a tweaked version of your advice to gw for my sitch wherein I have the normality at home but it is essentially different because my wife is here? I still have an enhanced relationship (in all departments) yet there is clearly cake eating going on

Me 55, W 50
D 8
M 20
T 27
MIL w/ us
BD 01/02/17
workplace A (12/09/16, EA -> PA)
OM senior manager, long term W, child 14
now: limbo (my choice)

"Don't care what you may do, we got that attitude!" - Bad Brains