Yeah, that realization [censored]. When they start to use your kid first as an excuse, and later as a weapon, it hurts for a lot of reasons. But you have to remember that the person she is today is going to do that kind of thing, and likely worse. Stop being surprised by it.
Yes, she is (and will continue to, if you let her) taking advantage of you. When my D was final, XW got my car (mine, from before the M) as part of the property settlement. I signed the title, and gave it to her, asking her to give my plate back the next week at handover. I got a polite text a few days later asking me to let the car ride for a bit, as money was tight. Since it wasn't going to cost me much of anything (registration and insurance are up at the end of this month, anyway) I agreed. A few days later, she was facetiming with D and I overheard her talking about her new haircut.
As always, she had money for essentials like salon visits, but not luxuries like getting the car registered and insured.
Don't forget that's what you're dealing with. Don't forget (cadence pointed this out to me in my thread) that your kindnesses will be seen as weakness and used against you.
In answer to your question, "a simple no" if you bother to respond at all. What you wrote up is a whole bunch of stuff she already knows. She'll see it as weakness, AND she'll get better at lying to you. What's your gain from that?
