You need to keep working on your detachment. You're not helping yourself, here. You already know she's a cheater, you already know she lies to your kids, you already know that whatever OM are in the picture are more important to her than you or your family. What have you discovered here that's new? What is getting this upset buy you at this point except more pain?
When I look at what you're posting, I see someone who seems to DESPERATELY want his W to just wake up and come home. You're angry with her, disgusted by her, but you still REALLY seem to want that. The problem is that she's not going to do those things anytime soon, if ever, and nothing in the world you do is going to shorten that timeline. The things you ARE doing are going to just push her further away.
Keep the D moving if that's what you want. While that's moving forward, be "done" with her if that's what you want or stand for your M if that's what you want. Whatever you do, though, commit to it and STOP WORRYING ABOUT HER AND WHAT SHE'S DOING! You'll never find any kind of peace unless you do.
Unless and until you accept that there's NOTHING you can do to control what she does, and live for YOU and your kid, you're going to keep hurting, going to keep spinning, and you won't ever move closer to something better than the hell you're in right now.
It [censored]. It's a [censored] sandwich for you and your kid. But where you are right not [censored] MORE than what's on the other side of this. And you won't ever get to that other side unless you work for it. So start working.
