Three things come to mind when I read your story. 1. What did you do before? What are your 180s? You keep talking about pursuing, being nice, sending flowers, etc. If these are 180s, perhaps occasionally it would be nice. Hey, why not, give her the romance she obviously isn't getting with OM. 2. Are you paying child support at all? You should be paying something for your daughter, even if just food and 1/2 medical or something. 3. Good that you stated your goal. I believe you must at least once, and usually no more than once, state your goal. You want to work on the M. Good job there. Now she knows, so don't bring it up again for a while.
Betsey is absoultely correct. Validate her but don't agree with her (unless you do). Just keep telling her you know she is going through some tough things. Tell her you respect her for taking on these challenges and you see how strong she is for going through it. Hey, who dislikes someone who tells them they are fantastic? Still, you haven't agreed with her choices, and you haven't offered help. Just emotional support.
And awesome suggestion to add mystery. Go out with friends, work on yourself. Take a class, read a book, learn something new. Take up a new hobby with new friends. Get out and do something so that you are not there when she does call.
The wedding band is your feelings on the R, it's personal. Do what you feel comfortable with. I would take it off for the mystery of it.
But then again, I have been known to do some things to make H jealous, which luckily worked out for me. (Could have backfired.)
I think you're doing great. Just need to get a life outside and make her think. Create some mystery. Make her think twice about your availability. Good luck, keep us posted!
