I have had DSL issues and my posts have been sporadic....
I think you're on the right track. Acting AS IF is a great way to let the air out of the tires here. From what you posted, it sounds like a good amount of her energy is derived from trying to get you to accept this.
So what will she be doing instead when she realizes that you're no longer fighting her?
I'll reiterate my beliefs here on being distant vs. detaching. I'll start by asking you a question: Was one of her chief complaints that you ignored her? I think you were the one who posted that it was. If so, being distant should have a different slant... showing her you care by not ignoring her, yet not pursuing. A tricky line to walk, for sure.
Detaching just means that you tell yourself (constantly in my case) that you will be just fine, no matter what ultimately happens. That attitude is reflected outward and I promise you that it is a confidence builder.
Starting with a beginner's mind is a GREAT idea. I'm all for new beginnings. Do you have any goals you can share so that you can journal your progress? They are GREAT ways to boost your self image and underline your worth. Face it, Woody, you're a great guy.
I think so, anyway.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 