Well. here I am 4 months to the date in our separation and I am feeling strong!!! My mom told me yesterday how proud she was of me for how I have handled this situation and it brought a few tears to my eyes. Right after bomb drop I called her every morning and every night to talk about how things were going. I am not sure what I would do without her!
I have not broke or engaged in any R or D talks with my W in over 3 months. I have been nice, cordial, I think for the most part have treated her like a friendly neighbor. There has been some give and take with the children schedule but I don't feel as though I am being taken advantage of or disrespected, I am just trying to be a good co-parent. I have kept my distance and do not ask her any type of Who, What, When, Where, or Why type of questions. All of our conversations are pretty high level.
Early on I could feel her anger and contempt towards me. I do feel that has changed and she does not seem to carry the same type of resentment she did before. Obviously that is a good thing in my opinion and I have made the right moves to defuse the situation.
I am not sure how long I will be able to go. Right now I am in this mainly for my children and to some degree myself but I do know I will be fine either way. Through this process I have learned that I am a kind, caring, compassionate man who has a lot of love to give. I am happy with who I see when I look in the mirror and I realized through this process that I always have been I sacrificed a lot of my own emotions and feelings for my W and I realize that now. If I was a stronger person back then, armed with the knowledge I have now I would have been the first person to challenge our relationship and where it was going. I was unhappy as well and even though I kind of new it, I just thought this is married life.
Now I get it....none of us should have to sacrifice. All of us deserve to find that type of love either in our current sitch or in our next.
I sacrificed a lot of my own emotions and feelings for my W and I realize that now. If I was a stronger person back then, armed with the knowledge I have now I would have been the first person to challenge our relationship and where it was going. I was unhappy as well and even though I kind of new it, I just thought this is married life.