roist - I used to refer to my W as "Mrs Minimum Payment". She would always put in the least possible effort (or so it seemed to me) on most tasks. That was one reason why I took over doing our books a number of years ago. Bills weren't getting paid down. This also extended to the garden which was full of weeds because she would only work at it for a short while then give up etc etc including in the bedroom.
Oddly - at work she would indeed go above and beyond, just not anywhere else. My son is very similar.
Think back to past patterns. Is your W someone who would regularly go above and beyond to get things done, even if they weren't for her? If that was a past pattern then it may not be surprising that she's not caring to carry her part of the load for reconnection.
It is my amateur observation that many of us are dealing with spouses who are in many ways selfish and yes, perhaps lazy. If the lawyer meetings are any indication, my STBX has gotten worse, not better.
If in your case this is what you are dealing with, you can't expect it to change I would think.
Just my 2 cents.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
