No jom, this had nothing to do with you talking about your S and his crisis. I was honestly kind of shocked, between that, and your other S visiting colleges your worry was your wife going home alone and the need to track her. I am not saying you aren't attentive to your sons, but you are understandably really scared to let her out of your sight or by herself or "home alone" in fear of her going back to OM.
I know this is a divorce busting site. I have been here far too long. Never busted my divorce. ex is married to OW. But boy did I learn a lot from being here and going through this. I know you are going to speak of her quite often. And when you do, it's like you are always trying to jump in front a proverbial train to keep her away from OM. I think it just might wear on you both in the long run. You do what you gotta do, but I see you desperately trying to shield your W from OM and any temptation, but she has got to learn to do that on her own, else you'll crash.
FWIW, my ex was a cheater. When we were dating. never caught, but I definitely knew it was happening. I was very young, but I just kept trying to do whatever it took to keep him away from any OW. By that I became a woman only a fool would leave, but I also sacrificed a whole lot of myself. I never tracked him or kept him from going out, I just pretzeled myself into exactly what he wanted. I stopped doing that for a few reasons, but when I did, guess what, he found OW. I beat myself up at first saying I should have kept pretzeling myself. But I knew if he couldn't stay faithful if I wasn't the "perfect" wife, I had to find out. And I found out the hard way. But that is not the kind of guy I want to be with, you know what I mean?
