WW in EA, NC w/OM(?), W's BFF interfering, part 7

[hoosjim]

Secondly, I second leahsue. Man, you are so enmeshed with her every move and mood and action, and deviation...... It has got to be exhausting. ... You tracking down her every move won't stop her. If she wants to, she will. And you will find out. But you are going to burn yourself out.

Ginger, first, thanks for the kind words and the concern.

I feel like I need to clarify how I look at this board, currently, however. For some general clarity on this, you can look at my response to leahsue, above. I am actually not so "enmeshed in her every move". However, this, to me, is the "Divorce Busting" forum... which means I am trying to use it as a tool to help prevent my marriage from ending in divorce. Right now, this past week and a half or so, the primary variables in that equation have all been directly concerning my W... and so that is what has been getting posted. If you go back and check my threads and more recent messages you will see that I have for all intents and purposes not been keeping track of her at all... no devices, no recordings... although she keeps her phone tracker "on" voluntarily... for several weeks, now. I only recently put back up some intel gathering on her, and then only for a couple of days, and that was consistent with what many (including my MC/IC, DB coach, and Sandi2) indicated was appropriate. Heck, Sandi seems to think I'm a bit loopy right now to NOT have any surveillance up on her given where she is. So, given what was going on, I put that deeper level of tracking on her for the 24 hours we were apart and she was "home alone" To me, that seemed to be prudent research on what was going on with her, and didn't seem damaging or detrimental at all to me. I understand I can't control her but, and many seem to agree with me her, it is helpful from time to time for both me and the DB effort to check up on her to see what she is doing.

Your son's had some big life events going on, yet that was all about how those events might affect your W's waywardness. Sometimes, you need to focus on what is important in the moment

I appreciate the reminder to keep myself balanced and focused on what is important. However, rest assured that I have been plenty focused on my son here. As I mentioned above, however, I view this as the "Divorce Busting Forum" not as the "Wayward Son Correction" forum. If you'd like me to give you a detailed rundown of that latter sitch, I could certainly do so, but it seemed to me to be a bit off-topic...