Letter to your WAS-Don't send them-Post them here

[Holding]

OK. I'll bite. I wrote this to my STBXW about 2 weeks after BD - I was a real mess at the time, so be prepared. I wrote it on her birthday. At the advice of my IC, I never gave it to her.

Dear STBXW,

Happy birthday. It's hard to find the right words, and I suppose there are no right words.

A long time ago we started walking in different directions, on different paths, sometimes getting closer, then drifting apart again. We got father apart, until we couldn't see each other any more. You tried to call out to me, but I couldn't hear you. I was wrapped up in my own pain. I tried to search for the path back, but I couldn't see it any more. I started to believe the way back was gone.

And then you screamed for me, screamed out in pain. And that scream woke me up. And I realized truly how far I'd gone, and I started to make my way back, discovering the path that I thought was lost.

I feel like I've gotten back to where I last saw you, but you're not here. You're now lost on your path, not seeing a way back, and not knowing which way to go.

And I'm screaming for you, telling you I'm sorry. Come back! I'm sorry! Find your way back. Follow my voice. I love you!

But you're far away, and maybe you can't hear me. I don't know how far you've gone.

If you're willing to listen, I'm still calling to you. If you can hear me, you can find your way back.

Thank god for my IC!