Hey Clyde, sorry for not checking back in, I've been pretty buried at work lately myself!
First I just want to say part of our "job" here is to challenge you and make you think about things you need to work on. We do it for everyone. Sometimes people feel like they're getting beat up, I know I did too! But it's all coming from a loving place, we really want you to succeed and we want to help you get there.
Your W right now has a very negative mindset. Nothing you say or do is going to change things, she feels like she's done and the M is over. You need to quit fighting her on that because the more you fight for your M the more she's going to push back. DB'ing is about setting your M aside for now and working on yourself. Your W may be 95% to blame for the demise of your M, but guess what, you can't control that. All you can control is your 5%, so that's our focus here. Leave her alone to work on her 95% (or whatever percentage it may be). Become the best "you" that you can be, and let her work through her issues. Once she does she may look back and see a man she regrets leaving, and she may very well want you back at that point.
I want you to have confidence that you WILL succeed, because in the end you will. I hope that success includes recon with your W, but you will eventually get to a point that even if you don't recon you will STILL succeed. You will be stronger, more confident, more independent.
Regarding taking the photos down, you said this:
Quote:
My thought on taking them down was to make her question whether I'm always going to be waiting here for her.
So in other words, you're thinking about doing it hoping to get a reaction out of her. That shouldn't be your motivation. You've got to quit doing things to try and "snap her out of it". Again, her decision is made (so she thinks right now) and you will NOT change her mind (only she can do that). Plus like you said later, how would your kids react to that. They might think you're trying to "erase" her from your and their lives.
