Thanks for your response! You are right and it sounds like you have a lot of experience with these issues to pick-up on how it may be a more deep seated problem.
Originally I was most troubled by my husband having affairs but that was actually nothing compared to him just leaving as if he doesn't care and never again wanting to openly communicate or act like himself. He completely changed as a human being and that's the hardest part for me to accept.
I'd have to think about it more but I almost don't even care who he's talking to if he could just offer us a semi-normal life with stability for a few years. It's currently not an option since he's gone again, but none of the options on how to proceed are good. Divorce is not good, being single is not good, trying to date and meet someone new seems like exchanging one set of problems for another is not good, and living with a husband who doesn't love me isn't good. Not one of those options are currently ones that I can accept. My husband's affairs are part of something that happened to him where he's no longer the man that I married. I don't even think about them compared to missing the man with whom I had a great life for many years.
I don't know if any reconciliation is possible nor if it could happen any time soon, but I feel I can't wait indefinitely so asking for a divorce may eventually be the only way to end this situation. The last time my husband returned within eight weeks, but this time he seems just checked-out and in his own world.
Thanks again for your input. If my husband ever did want to work things out seriously then I'd definitely ask him to seek long-term counseling to address what went wrong.
I'll search for psy Sara's thread. I'm glad in your case you're at least out of that state of anxiety wondering about the OW. That is a terrible feeling.
