So I have a confession. Read the first chapter of No More Mr. Nice Guy. And that chapter alone hit me like a ton of bricks. Discovered I had issues that I didn't even really have a clue about. But the way I have felt throughout this MR finally makes sense. Sat in the aisle of Walmart listening to the book on audio and suddenly had the urge to call W and apologize for the flaws and issues that I wasn't really aware of.
My W issues involving her childhood into adulthood are obvious. But clearly my own issues are a lot more hidden. Which has a lot to do with trying to be that nice guy who is responsible for keeping everything together. This was beaten into my own head as the eldest child by own parents. Especially my father. And I am sure my fix it attitude didn't help my MR out at all. But to be honest, I have never looked at my W as a project to fix. Though I agree with the book that I always thought my W had so much potential. But was just brought up in a bad sitch. I wanted to take her from all of that and show her much better. When I bought this house, it wasn't for me. But it was for her and S13. I wanted W to see that she actually deserved to have all of this.
Now she doesn't even want it. And is willing to throw it all away for a guy who wants to give her nothing. Guess this is also why I am so upset with W. I have flaws, but I believed that I did everything right without expecting anything but loyalty. For her to leave this MR for someone better would be understandable. But for someone who never even bought her a drink? The first chapter alone has opened up my eyes and I can only imagine what I will discover by the end of this book.
I made so many sacrifices for my W that I will never be able to take back. All in the name of being a nice guy. Sacrificed a military career, children and entertained/helped her family out on many occasions. I did it with no expectation, because we were family. And now she wants to break up the family for this turd. So at the moment, I am pissed off at W. But I am also extremely sorry for W must have endured in our MR. Even though she opted to keep a lot of things to herself. At first, I got a lawyer, because I wanted this nonsense to come to an end and I deserve better. Now I am seriously wondering if we should go our separate ways because this might not be salvageable? Well that's my rant.
