Living in limbo and hating it

[Painful]

25, Kaizen, J9 -

Thank you for your responses. It looks to me that all of you are thinking that my asking WW to pay for her own insurance will likely push her to file for D and it's more cost effective for me to prevent it by not bringing the subject up. I've thought of that, and that's one of the reasons I brought this up on this board. OTOH, she hasn't made any moves up to now and I highly doubt that would cause her to be more decisive. Which brings me to:

There's a reason your w has not filed or sought support. (I don't know that reason but there is one).

I know we can't mind guess but does anyone have any theories on this? This q has crossed my mind MANY times as well, and while I have my own theory it's probably way too subjective and optimistic. I'd certainly appreciate any thoughts from objective 3rd parties, particularly from the ladies here as MAYBE they could understand it better.

I was trying to be realistic about it knowing as well she wanted to move out. I did not want to hold money over her head and that be a controlling factor in her reason to stay.
My thoughts was if you want out, lets sit down and discuss finances and how we can make this happen. I hope this makes sense.

That's great you were so cool and collected, J9. When my WW was moving out though, I had just found out that she was involved in a long-term PA with someone from our close circle of "friends" and obviously living a double life for all this time. I still don't exactly know how long it was going on but we're not talking a few months but 1-3 YEARS. Additionally, she refused to stop it and wanted to move out. So you can imagine I wasn't nearly as cool as you and my thoughts and actions were - you want out, then you're completely on your own (except expenses for D11). I didn't cancel car insurance b/c it was prepaid for a year last October so I forgot about it in at the time. When I calmed down and remembered about it a month or two later, I decided not to bring it up and be petty or vindictive as 25 described her feelings re her H. And honestly, knowing the OM, I thought that their A would fizzle out quickly in the real world of rent and bills. And yet here we are, it's still going. I doubt that it's very strong as he's still just a booty call rather than a full-time partner 9 months later but again I don't know. But I do know that I really don't want to subsidize her current lifestyle on my own accord. Obviously if she takes it further by filing for D I will have no choice but for now I do. Thus my dilemma.

Does she earn a lot? If not, how is she getting by without any support?

She doesn't, and neither does the OM. That's one of the reasons I didn't think it would go on for too long in the real world as I said above. But I guess between the two of them, for now they have enough to pay for rent, food, and some weekend entertainment. The other reason was and is that they're rejected as a couple by nearly everyone, both their families and most friends. How long can you live in a vacuum? But I guess they're living it up one day at the time; anything else be damned b/c they're "soulmates".