Limerence and My Situation 5

[Parkema]

Hello All,

I was wondering all's stance to how I intend to continue to manage my situation after the recent events! All comments welcome.

Is this just a bump in the road for me?
Am I doing something that’s just not working?

For me the whole episode last night was down to a lack of respect for my needs and boundaries with regards to me moving along with my life. There has been a definite feel of detachment from me to her and obviously the space that comes with it.
Prior to the blow-up about meeting AP/LO we had a civil F2F when picking the boys stuff up from my home, the conversation was light and in fact I made WW laugh twice! Something I haven’t seen in a while… I see trends happening with her after certain responses or actions, these are basically when she gets the feeling I’m either not allowing her her way OR when she see me moving on.

Whilst we were talking she asked what I did when I GAL over night? I said “I’ll tell you if you want to know” but she basically said “you don’t have to” I replied with “okay I won’t” and left it at that. The atmosphere changed in an instant and I knew something triggered in her as when I said goodbye to the boys in the car she didn’t roller her window down as she normally would.

I may be mind reading BUT have said in previous posts that I can almost predict the when these “flare-ups” are likely to occur.

I intend to keep doing what I’m doing with regards to my DR methods, expect minimal to no contact but NEVER pursue a D. It was an eye-opener in respect to how deeply she is in L with her AP/LO in the fact she wasn’t bothered in running over anybody kids included to stress her point.

It’s all down to her now to see where this is going as I don’t intend to face these type of discussions going forwards and if that means absolute no contact which would be detrimental to the kids then so be it.

She’s just hardened me a little more towards her but still feel her confusion and hurt when a comment on how MY life is going with her surprised when I tell her its going well.

I intend to leave this a month and update how it's gone.

It’s been 9-months since I moved out of the FM and this A is still in its infancy, I need to keep sight that I’m on her timescale not mine and patience with good DR’ing will get me through this for better or worse. Where have I said that before…?

M.