I definitely don't suggest lying to them. I was just assuming that saying something like, "I am very angry at OM, and I would rather not meet him, but if I do, nothing bad will happen. I might be upset or sad, but I'm not going to start a fight" would be a safe and true thing to say.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
