Limerence and My Situation 5

[Parkema]

Hello All,

I need to thank you all for being here to listen and help in any way you can it amazes me how people I have never met can have so much of their own time invested in ME!

You are an immense support to me and I truly appreciate it.

Didn’t get much sleep last night this episode continued to play out in my mind, due to this it gave me time to analyze the whole issue. Deep down I feel so hurt by her actions, how she continued to berate me in front of my boys even AFTER I asked her to leave, she wouldn’t I couldn’t well throw her out!!!

What was her motivation?
All I know is that it was about her needs, hers and her AP/LO. Did this aid me NO, did this aid my boys NO.

Zeus – You’re spot on. I felt hurt and angry at how her attitude towards us has changed, I’m not sure about power struggle but maybe she feels I no longer am invested as much as I used to be and she needs to “reel me back in” or she just wants to hurt me deeply by flaunting her AP/LO right in front of me (total disrespect again). I regret reacting the way I did to this and could have handled it a lot better BUT will learn from the experience.
You mention a desire for attention – do you mean from her to me or me to her? I must admit I still have times where I’m thinking about her who doesn’t and have not stopped thinking about this episode since it happened. I’m afraid respect from her to me has completely vanished but if I don’t pick her up on this I’ll continue to be seen as a weak man! < That has to change.

Hi Rose – "However, since it's likely to come up again, have you considered conceding her point that you'll have to meet OM some day?" As much as it will hurt I’m not in control of that! WW will quite possibly force the issue, before I thought this wouldn’t happen due to how it affects S8 BUT what I saw last night I feel she’s not too bothered about anybody else’s feelings except hers and her AP/LO. I can’t say to the boys what will happen if we were to meet as I just don’t know. I won’t lie to them.

25 – “There are disordered people who fake us out, or change on us, and we come to see them as people we cannot actually live with again. Even if they want to reconcile.
PARK, I make no assumption about your wife here^^. From what you post it's obvious you see reason to have faith. Good on you.
If someone comes here believing a spouse's A is "100% wrong - 100% of the time", then why come here?”

I agree entirely that 50% of the problems in our MR was my fault and I’m trying to identify this and work on being better BUT you must agree WW also had a responsibility to work on the MR? I wish I had a manual on how to behave in a MR, one for communication, validation LL and so on I didn’t and obviously missed the signs BUT our MR was good it really was or so I thought.

I feel she was pursued by him and didn’t have great boundaries, one thing led to another and we are where we are.

The boys are with her at the FH today and the next couple, I’ll be surprised if I don’t get a text much like this: “If you want the boys come and pick them up. “Watch this space…

Thank you all for your continued support.

M.