I've been thinking about you and your sitch, which is tremendously challenging, and this popped into my head yesterday. I may be totally off base so please disregard if it doesn't fit for you.
It occurred to me that WH is conditioning you. I've heard this slogan from another programme - "We teach people how to treat us." It occurred to me that this is what he is doing, whether consciously or unconsciously.
What I mean is that when you're happy, light, take the pressure off, have no expectations/demands of him to piece in an authentic, responsible and committed way, when you basically let him do whatever he wishes, on his schedule, that he rewards you with a declaration of commitment. But when you start laying down the boundaries and expressing frustration at his lack of commitment to helping you heal, when you start bringing up difficult subjects up about what happened etc (I am guessing), he withdraws and shuts down. He rewards you with a glimpse of your dream when you do what he wants, and withdraws it when you don't. It looks like to me he's teaching you how to treat him.
