Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 11, filing for D

[skyhigh]

Hope you are doing ok!
Whatever the road you are choosing to follow proceed with cautious. I know that feeling when suddenly you are being appreciated/recognized by your H after years of neglect and/or mental abuse, it fills you with hope and happiness but real change takes time and is another roller coaster.

Taking a break without taking a decision is sometimes beneficial, it helps the emotions to settle down and see the situation under another angle. I remember saying to my H when he was pressuring me to piece (when I told him that I was done and ready to file) that I needed to be left alone mentally and physically but meanwhile he had to follow my boundaries and my criteria if he wanted me to even consider his request but I was sure of nothing and I might still file in 6 months or in 1 year. I resisted his urge of moving on fast... somehow I knew he just wanted to sweep things under the rug and it was not for my best interest for the long term. People change only if they are forced to work on themselves which is painful, it forces them to take a hard look at their past actions, to acknowledge them and instead of blaming others to take full responsibility. That's not something enjoyable... so putting pressure on us to move on with a bundle of promises is a way to avoid to do that work but sadly it will not solve their deep issues for the long term and they will reappear after a while.