Moving Forward - Continued

[Painful]

THE MAIN REAL REASON B's W is willing to go on dates, sleep over, going to in-laws, think and talk about their future together, etc so quickly and openly is because THERE IS NO OM in the picture.

Yes and no.

I mean, Ive never seen a WS come back to actually work on the relationship while the third person is still involved. In other words, the WS isnt going to come back until the relationship with the AP ends one way or another. So yes, it's certainly going to be easier to reconcile if theres no AP, because those relationships often last several months.

But I disagree with you that the lack of an AP is THE REAL REASON that Benito is working towards piecing with his W. THE REAL REASON is that he followed the program and it got him the results that he was looking for. Your comments completely dismiss the work that Benito put in and suggest that without an AP, it is easy to repair the relationship. It's easiER for sure....but I dont believe thats the REAL REASON she returned.

Sounds like she possibly wasn't even a true WAW; just wanted to teach him a lesson and turn him around which he did very well.

Wow. Like I said in my post before, it's frustrating that the thoughts of Benito when he first joined are now redacted so that people like you dont chalk this up as a random chance event where a WAW decided not to walk away. She chose to return because of hard work done by the LBS to reflect and evolve. Dismissing that as commonplace is extremely rude, in my opinion.

I bet 80-90% of guys here would've been in a similar sitch if they had a W like B's instead of cold-hearted WWs whose main goal now is to try to build a new life with the "soulmate" "best friend" OM.

80 to 90%?!? If that were anywhere remotely close to true, there would be no book. I doubt MWD would even have a job. AP or not....it is hard work to completely retrain yourself in your thoughts and behaviors. I would say it is certainly more likely to reconcile when theres no AP, but even if there isnt, the success rate for reconciling once someone gets desperate enough to post here is insanely low.

Kaizen/Benito,

My apologies if it came across this way. My post was IN NO WAY aimed at dismissing the great work B has done on himself. I even stated that he turned around very well. I don't know his full story as there's no previous thread; I just read this one.

Again, the point of my post was NOT to diminish B's efforts but to reflect on our WWs compared to his W. His W is ready, willing and able to see the changes he was and still is making, appreciate those changes, and adjust her mindset to love and respect him again. My point was that even if most of the guys here did the same amount of work and self-reflection as B did, our WWs aren't in the mental state to see our work and changes, and they don't want to have a mental 180 and start "dating" us again so quickly.

80-90% - I didn't mean of all LBS but of the guys here on this board. Granted I'm not here long enough or often enough but it certainly seems like MOST of us (Benito is one of the rare lucky exceptions) are dealing with WWs, OMs, and separations due to their ongoing affairs. So it's for these guys here, me including, I think the possibility of R would be much higher and easier as you mentioned if there were no OM in our W's lives. You're right, 80-90% was probably an overkill in the heat of writing the post.