I haven't filed, and I won't until he messes with the money or my children in a way that requires it. Now it is just a matter of making peace with this time. My IC doesn't want me to think of it as limbo or waiting, but we have not come up with a new term for it yet.
I did eventually talk to the OW1 and it answered some questions for me. I know at some point I will hear from the present one too. I think when people endure a similar trial they want to come to peace with it, even if like OW1 they walk into it more knowingly.
My S is doing well. We are having a little issue at school that we are going to try to deal with proactively. After cutting himself the once there were a few incidents with picking scabs and writing with the blood, but we seem to be through that part. He is definitely trying to process his pain. Thankfully he has started talking about it now. His biggest concern seems to be a fear that he will be like his father. No chance. This boy feels.
I am definitely done with his stuff. I don't care much what he is up to. I just want him to stay away from us for as long as possible. I sometimes envy my D being away on the other side of the country and being in such an exciting time of her life with so much to look forward to.
If you don't know whether it is time to file, then it isn't time. When you know what you want the path will become clear for you. Really do focus on your life. Getting back to me, to who I was before all of this stuff, has been the best part of this.
