Now I don’t intend to come into contact with AP/LO at all as I feel this is helping me stop the pictures of them together as I can’t put a face to that person, I mentioned that I will not come into contact with him and that there is no need for us to meet. I feel this is just another way for my WW to make her life much easier.
Why would she want us to meet?
Well, it's probably what you said- she's worried the kids see you and OM as mortal enemies and they're afraid of what will happen when you cross paths (which is bound to happen at some point). It's no doubt also a convenience thing for her, she doesn't want to leave the house and come there every time she needs something, she would like you to come over there. She would no doubt also like OM to drive her to your place if she needs to come there, or even take the kids to you himself without her. And all of that ^^^ is her problem, not yours. You've already told her what your boundary is, it frankly doesn't matter whether she likes it or not. If she brings it up again you might defuse the situation by saying something like "we can discuss it in the future, but right now I just cannot deal with meeting or being around OM, please respect that." If she wants to pout/ argue/ kick/ scream then so what, just calmly reiterate to her that it is your boundary and it's not open to negotiation.
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Do you feel I’m right in my stance even though it is VERY upsetting to both my S’s?
It sounds like your sons were upset about you and W fighting, which is a completely separate issue. You should do whatever you can not to fight with her in general, but never, ever fight in front of the kids.
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I tried to keep my cool and did to a degree until she started getting louder and more aggressive showing no respect for any of us.
Once she started escalating, that was the time to walk away. Just tell her you're sorry she's upset and you would be happy to discuss it later once she has cooled off a little. Then you leave.
Sorry you're going through this, it's very difficult. Hang in there!
