Please don't suppress your emotions. You need to find a healthy way to release them. You have to understand your emotional and find ways to have controls to help you correctly deal with them.
I take deep breaths. Yell and cry in my car. Go for long walks, but I always walk in my house in a good mood most of the time. I never go in my house angry. I sit in the car a extra few minutes if I have to and shake out any anxiety.
I'm alot better at doing that now. I'm working on not letting my wife mood affects mines. I have been getting better at that as well. I have start to separate my emotions from hers.
You need to do the same. The reason your wife gave you for being with the OM is bogus. Believe not of what they say and half of what they do.
You are fully attached. Detachment doesnt happen in a day, a week, a month. It's over time. You will make mistakes. Don't talk to her about the M or R at all. If she comes to you, validate, keep your comments short and to the point. I have to work on that short and to the point aspect. But I don't initiate any convos about the M or R. Once start it becomes easier not too.
Your wife will notice these changes. Stop chaser her, it's fir your own sanity.
I think you have enough fuel to probably use TXHubby Technique.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
